Skip to main content

A Toolbox of Insights!


It was an honour to take part in Arshia Riyaz’s  show Midlands Masala again last  weekend, some very stimulating insights on the subject matter including  is nine months too early to end a marriage, are people giving up too easily and with the increase in celebrity divorces are they setting  a bad example?

I was amused when Arshia introduced me as the author of The Divorce Toolbox and am I someone who helps people to get divorced. To this I  replied that  I guide them through the process. When Arshia asked me my own view about Imran Khan and Reham Khans divorce within a few months of marriage I felt we need to look at the route of the problems, which is society, not just our Asian community but society in general puts pressure on being married . There is still a stigma attached with courting or living together. A perfect example is recently when Chukka Ummna went for labour leadership he was harshly criticised for having a girlfriend in his thirties rather than being married. Something I advocated was encouraging dating and living together so that people get to know each and don’t rush into getting married before their ready.

We then went onto talk about the time factor that do people give up too quickly as all marriages have problems. I then raised the issue from observing my parents generation, is that people get stuck in a rut and before you know it twenty years have gone by and people are just existing not living. In cases of domestic violence for example the sooner the better in my opinion. In my own book I touched on how time never comes back. There is a huge difference between trying to rebuild nine months as oppose to say thirty years.


The debate then moved onto are celebrities setting a bad example with the rate at which they are getting divorced. With the example of Imran Khan a high powered politician and Reham Khan a successful Journalist the two careers can clash. Being married to someone like Imran Khan there is a first lady role to fulfil. Not all women would give up their careers for their husband and why should they have to. I feel celebrities are setting a good example, if your happy why exist when you can live.

Overall I enjoyed being invited on this show again and giving my input but still strongly feel even though we live in the twenty first century society can still be very narrow minded and judgemental about divorce.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Post Christmas Recovery Kit!

 To say this year is a festive season like no other is a massive understatement! Without a pandemic the festive period for separated families can be a time of doom and gloom. It is with this in mind I decided to release my current book " The Post-Divorce Recovery Kit" just before Christmas.  In 2014 I published " The Divorce Toolbox" which focused more on the legal proceedings around divorce, aimed at people who were at the decision-making stage of divorce or going through court proceedings. My current book looks more closely at ways of supporting children through the process. I have included a chapter about " The difficult firsts" where I have shared my story about Christmas away from my daughter for the first time.  As the festive period continues there is now the pandemic to factor in. If there are still difficulty with the non-resident parent, it will be even harder to make decisions and reach an agreement. I have also included a section about work...

Leave my idol alone!

My blog has been up and running for about four months now. Being a hardcore Madonna fan I feel on my part, it is very rude that this is only the second post I have done. However I can make up for it and I feel this post is a must. I have been following Madonna's MDNA tour and have been rather annoyed at the bad press my idol has been getting. Elton John has made comments that her career is over. If that is the case how do tickets for Madonna's concerts sell out so quickly. The cynics out there are always quick to pick on negatives and critisise people, but do not want to acknowledge the positives. Madonna is fifty plus and in her shows she sings, acts, dances and plays guitar. If anyone has ever seen the documentaries In Bed with Madonna and I'm Going To tell You A Secret, Madonna is very much at the forefront of the creative process of actually putting her shows together. People just want to critisise but fail to even acknowledge all these finer points. Madonna does no...

Back at The Y as a triple act!

I will be back at The Y in Leicester for the third time on Thursday June 20th at 7:30pm. This time not only will I be performing brand new material, I will also be introducing a collaborative project I have been working on, with two up and coming Indian classical musicians, Akash Parekh on Sitar and Rishii Chowdhury on Tabla. The three of us have formed together and called ourselves "Mayapee and the Half Moon Circle Nuts".  In October last year I put a couple of posts on my blog about this talented duo and it is a privilege to be working with them . Akash and Rishii have worked with various different artistes and between them have training in Indian Classical music and Western music. With the diverse knowledge the three of us bring to the table, we thought it would be very exciting to work together. The title of our piece is called " Burning a Dream" which explores the issue of bullying through poetry and Indian classical music. The raga's ( compositions)...